Bob Jacobs was born and raised in the Midwest and moved to California in his twenties. When we
married, in 1986, we left the San Francisco Bay Area and moved to the Napa Valley to start our new life together. He retired from an estate planning career and ran all aspects of our personal life, including all financial matters.

I thought I had married the healthiest 58-year-old man on the planet

When I made the traditional promises at our marriage ceremony, I was confident I could live by all the vows the judge asked me to repeat. I would have been shocked, however, if he had added, “and act as lifetime caregiver for your spouse if he gets any form of dementia.”

Although I was 17 years younger than Bob, he seemed my age physically and took excellent care of himself. The only medication that he took was his allergy pill. He loved to eat fruits and vegetables. Salty or sweet snacks never tempted him, and generally, he had what we now call a “heart-healthy diet.” He was disciplined about exercise: jogging or riding his bike at least three times a week, and doing stretching exercises after each workout. I used to tell him, “You’ll outlive me, I’m sure.”

a diagnosis of MCI transformed our pleasant, predictable life

In 2002, Bob was diagnosised with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI). It transformed our predictable and pleasant life. I was self-employed and busy with my human resources management career, having started a consulting business to assist small organizations in the San Francisco Bay Area.