About Cheri J. Bailly-Jacobs

My husband, Bob Jacobs, and I moved to the Napa Valley right after our marriage in 1986. I felt like I was the luckiest and happiest person in California. Our move from the San Francisco East Bay was a result of a career opportunity for me and the beginning of Bob's retirement. We looked forward to starting our new life together.

FROM GROWING UP YEARS IN OREGON TO CALIFORNIA

I grew up in Bend, Oregon, went to college at the University of Oregon, and couldn't wait to move to California, where most of my friends from college lived. With a degree in Romance Languages, teaching at a high school seemed like the best option. I moved to the Palm Springs area and found a teaching post at a high school in the middle of date palm orchards. Quite a change from the high desert of Central Oregon.

After teaching for two years in the Coachella Valley, I wanted a change. A move to the San Francisco Bay Area meant a career change as well. A transition to the business world, though difficult, eventually led to a rewarding career in human resources management.

WHAT DOES SOMEONE WITH A DEGREE IN FRENCH KNOW ABOUT BUSINESS?

After more than five years in an HR position I loved, I was laid off. In my job search, I became weary of being asked what I knew about HR or business with a just degree in foreign languages. I had met Bob and had been dating him for some time when I asked for his advice about my going to graduate school. He encouraged me to get an MBA, and after five years of night school, I did.  During those years, our relationship became more serious, and eventually, we decided to marry when I was offered an executive position at a community bank in Napa.

We loved living in the Napa Valley, but seven years later, the bank was acquired by another financial institution, resulting in the elimination of all management jobs. I took almost a year off to decide what to do next. We took a trip to Europe, which helped me generate enough enthusiasm to take on the risks of starting an HR consulting business. After a lot of discussion with Bob, I decided to give it a try for one year and see if I could be successful. I worked from my home office and found I loved my new independence. I also taught business courses at community colleges and served on boards of directors for local nonprofits. Life was good.

A DIAGNOSIS OF DEMENTIA CHANGES EVERYTHING

When I began noticing Bob’s memory problems and thinking difficulties, I hoped it was just my worrying nature. But in 2002, Bob received the diagnosis of Mild Cognitive Impairment, indicating that my concerns were valid. He was a fit seventy-five-year-old, and dementia was a health issue I would never have anticipated.

In the beginning, I was overwhelmed by the prospect that not only was I to be Bob's caregiver, but I would have to take on all our family and financial responsibilities. During the next nine years, sometimes in the evening, I would sit at my computer to vent my feelings and frustrations
from my day of caregiving.

Since Bob's death, I joined a writers' group who helped me develop my stories into Caregiver Confidential. I volunteer at our local hospice and I also enjoy the peace I find from my regular yoga classes.